February 20, 2012

I have spent the day paying for my mistakes this weekend.  My stomach has hurt and so has my back.  It started out innocent enough.  I put pancake syrup on my buckwheat waffle Friday evening.  Seems innocent doesn’t it?  It’s just pancake syrup.  Not pure maple syrup but pancake syrup which contains two different types of corn syrup.  I vowed to buy real maple syrup the next time I went to the store.  Saturday started innocent enough greek yogurt, grapefruit, coffee, then grapes, cheese, and cookies, about 5 cookies each topped with a candy kiss.  Wait, it just keeps getting worse, a plate of shrimp nachos from the local mexican restaurant, queso cheese, and a Sun Drop soda.

Think I’m finished? Oh no, I am not.  Sunday: handful after handful of chocolate chips and the rest of the queso dip, I am sure another cookie or two, and a large side of complete and total shame.  I am not ashamed of the amounts I ate because my calorie intake is just fine.  I am ashamed that I fell so hard off of the health train.  I do not believe that I can eat the wrong thing once in a while.  I can not agree with the paleo diet’s 85/15 rule of eat right 85% of the time.  I have to eat real food all of the time or all of this means nothing.  So what caused me to stray?  The same things that cause most all of us to stray.  #1 Convenience.  I should have made a fruit syrup for my waffle or ate yogurt on it.  I got lazy and pulled out the bottle of syrup.  #2 Exhaustion.  My children have been sick since last Thursday and with fevers and new teeth coming in the night doesn’t bring much sleep.  By the end of Saturday I had spent hours getting taxes done and running errands.  Take-out seemed like an easy option and I let my lack of sleep lead to the path of comfort food.   #3 Stress. Sick Children. Missing work.  Chocolate chips.  Need I say more?

Do these common reasons excuse my fall? My expectations for myself are very high so no, they do not.  Obviously, from the way my stomach feels today my body’s expectations are very high as well.  I can not afford to have an off day let alone many in a row.  I have learned my lesson for now.  I can only hope that when I feel well again (and I was feeling VERY well) that I will not forgot what a mistake feels like.  It feels like miserable failure.

On a different note I have built a new page with the recipes I have posted so far over the last 6 weeks.  I would love to know how any of them turn out if you try them!  I will continue to add new recipes as I get them just right and Shannon approved!


2 thoughts on “Relapse

  1. Oh my gosh, I’m sorry to say that I’m so glad to read this post! You sound JUST LIKE ME!!! I try SO HARD to be healthy too, but it is so easy to fall off the wagon!! I get so disappointed with myself, but I just keep picking up and starting over. It is so tough. I also think it’s especially tough for mothers!!!! I definitely think the convenience, lack of sleep and stress play a huge role!! I also have a problem with chocolate chips!! I actually stopped buying them for a while because I just couldn’t stop eating them!!!! Hang in there….after all tomorrow is another day!!! 😉

    • Thank you for the encouragement! I really enjoy your blog! I am not sure where you find your energy but I am so glad that I am not the only one that struggles with eating right and taking care of myself.

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