Meanwhile, back at the ranch….


January 12, 2012

I have yet to eat a salad since beginning my undertaking.  I know that is usually the first thing people turn to when it is time to lose weight and “get healthy.”  I have watched people eat them all week.  They look pretty all full of spinach, cucumber, carrots, strawberries, ham, turkey, shredded cheese and every different kind of salad dressing.  I do like pretty salads with all of those things in them but every bottle of salad dressing on the store shelves contains ingredients I have sworn off.

Shannon also loves salad.  If you want to call what he eats a salad.  I can’t really figure out why he bothers with the lettuce.  He prefers iceberg lettuce, then tops it with cottage cheese, croutons, imitation bacon, hard-boiled eggs if we have them, French’s fried onions, and ranch dressing.  Lots and lots of ranch dressing..from a bottle. How lucky for him that he ran out of dressing just as our lives were changing.  And what another stroke of luck when someone pinned a recipe for ranch dressing on Pinterest!  Finally, maybe I could eat a salad too!  The ingredients seemed so simple: mayonnaise, sour cream, buttermilk, eggs, olive oil, garlic, and chives.  It sounded perfect!

Let’s see Hellman’s Mayonnaise: first ingredient soybean oil, Kraft Mayo: soybean oil, Hyvee brand: soybean oil, Off Off brand: soybean oil.  “Okay,” I thought, “Not a big deal.  I will just make the mayo.”  Buttermilk ingredients:  I can’t even list them.  Let’s just say not butter and milk.  Move on to half and half to sub in for buttermilk.  Ingredients: corn syrup and lots of other stuff.  GRRRRR.  SERIOUSLY???  Finally!  AE half and half ingredients: cream and milk.    Alrighty moving on to Chives.  Rural midwest.  Small town. Fresh chives?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  The produce gods are just laughing at me now.  Two very small containers of chives from the seasoning aisle and I am finally standing in the checkout line and then back home.

Now for the creating.  The food processor is whirring and the baby starts crying from the noise.  The kitchen vibes for this dressing are not good.  The poor mason jar of ranch is doomed from the beginning.  I think it is best to tell you that to make a 1/2 pint of salad dressing 1 cup of olive oil is far too much.  Shannon tried he really did but he just couldn’t do it.  It all went down the drain.  (Thanks to my other two guinea pigs, Mike and Nancy, who claim they liked the dressing.  I have my doubts but thank you for making me fell better!)  I am not one to give up and so the next night I altered and tasted and made up my own version of the Pinterest recipe and SCORE!  Shannon ate it!

I woke up today feeling much better than I did yesterday.  I looked at my last post and realized I didn’t celebrate at all.  I was too busy mourning my lost food loves. God has blessed me this week.  I lost 4 lbs in one week!  What a success! I don’t have acid reflux at night anymore. After over 10 years of reflux off and on that is amazing!  All it took was one week of trying to eat whole, natural foods.  Imagine how I am going to feel next week, next month, at the end of the year, and for the rest of my life.

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2 thoughts on “Meanwhile, back at the ranch….

  1. Thank you so much for doing this Jackie!!! U have inspired me…..I know I can’t change my families minds overnight, but I am going to make a few more changes and see how they do. Keep up the reminders, updates,etc. We will be praying for you in your journey! Luv ya sista!

  2. I was smiling all the way through this story. I have tried and tried to make a healthy ranch dressing that will pass the hubby test and have failed every time. Truth be told; I didn’t like them either. So he’s still using Hidden Valley Ranch dressing with the nasty soybean oil, but otherwise he eats pretty healthy. I figure he’s still eating way better than he was a year ago when he would eat “nutty bars” (think trans fat here) for breakfast during his morning break at work. I however have switched to vinegar and oil and have found I really like it. Sometimes I try different kinds of vinegar but mostly use red wine vinegar. His acid reflux issues are gone also and no more Prilosec either. Baby steps – it takes time.

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